岁末寒冬

又一年了。。。。

今年对我来说绝对不是一个好年。年中姑姑刚去世，冬至前又迎来另一个坏消息---二姑丈病逝。

一年内，身边两个亲人连续去世，除了说不出的伤心，其实是害怕。不知道哪一天会迎来更心痛的消息。最近我一直在想，是不是应该回去了。待在他们身边侍候着。我不想有那么一天我后悔陪伴他们的时间太少。

二姑丈去世时，我表现的比较镇定与沉着。可能已经有心理准备了吧，毕竟他已经有病一年多了。只是以为他能撑过这一两年。本来还想趁新年之后带他回中国探望他的兄姐，却不能成行了。本来想新年为他买一件新衣，也来不及了。有太多太多的本来，现在都实现不了了。。。总是觉得他走得并不甘心。去世前一天，他还特地去理了头，和邻居说冬至快到了，又能吃汤圆了，自己却永远也赶不上了。我什么也做不了，只希望他在天国能永享快乐和安宁。永别了，二姑丈

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我把我的担心和害怕都告诉妈妈。妈说不管是谁先走一步，另一半会好好的生活下去。可以偶尔到哥那儿住一下，也可以偶尔到新加坡来找我。

我想我新的一年的冀望应该是学会坚强的面对，珍惜拥有的，就像妈一样。。。

老歌

最近一直很想找些老歌来听，例如张国荣啦，民歌啦，梅艳芳啦。

总觉得老歌有一种震慑人心的力量。它不但能让你回忆起一些年少轻狂的事，一首好的歌，在不同的时候听，都会让人有不一样的感触。年轻的时候听，可能是盲目的崇拜偶像；年纪长一点，就能听出歌词里的共鸣；等到年纪大了，它却成为了回忆的一部分。每听一次，就会掉进回忆的漩涡里，想起那时那刻。如果那是你的主题歌，感触就更深刻了。我有一首主题歌。每次听，最初的那种心痛，感伤总会排山倒海的涌出来；每次听，都有想痛哭的感觉

我个人很喜欢听张国荣早期的歌。他其实一直都不是我的偶像。记得我还在念小三还是小四时，哥哥疯狂的迷上张国荣。凡是他的照片，卡带，剪报，他都一一收藏。那时觉得他很傻，却也让我知道他很多很多的歌。

后来不懂什么原因，哥哥突然不喜欢他了。他的收藏都进了冷冻库，可是张国荣的歌却成了我记忆的一部分。知道他选择跳楼来结束生命的那一刻，真的很心痛。成长的一部分也随着他的陨落化为真正的永恒。

你是否也有相同的经历？？？

Another 2 months passed

有一段時間沒有上來update了,差不多有兩個月.糟糕,到底這兩個月我都在干嗎?為甚麼一點印象都沒有?

在UMC上班真的不會有時間觀念.每天都只是在過日子而已.已經一年多了,卻完全沒有開始上手的感覺.終覺得自己還是菜鳥一名.也不是沒上手,可能晚班真的不是太忙碌吧. 隨著需求下滑,我的新領班開始可以自己獨立,我覺得我在晚班是可有可無的.

現在的心情完全是holiday mode,因為我下個禮拜就去越南玩了.接下來很快一年就會過去.一月我就會交信.雖然說紐西蘭的working holiday多半會胎死腹中,可是英國的有70巴仙應該去的成.但必須等到5月尾. 因為淑儀堅持要拿了bonus才走. 我必須想想由2月到5月該作些甚麼才好.

any suggestion???

太委屈

有沒有試過在工作上受過委屈呢?那感覺還記得嗎?

我是一個個性比直率的人.有話就說,而且會反駁我認為不合理的事情.可是在工作了4年後,我真的深深體會出甚麼是有口難言.有些事情並不是照著規律,道理來走.一個決定,一件事情的原由,根本就是一些人的主觀感受.

高出不勝寒?拜託,越是在高處的人,越是懂得避寒好不好.不勝寒的,只是一些'二打錄',很快就被淘汰出局了. 所以不要懷疑為甚麼領導层終是永遠是那一群人在當. 反正這群人永遠都是對的. 不要試著去挑戰他們的權威. 越是在高處的人,眼睛越是封閉的.現在已經沒有虛言納諫這回事,不要太天真了!!!

到底甚麼時候才能作回自己呢??

My 2nd graduation

My master degree graduation

Best friends and I, thanks for coming

Parents and me after the ceremony

Unforgettable June

我不知道該怎麼形容這個六月--有了我人生第一間房子,28歲生日,姑姑的驟然去世

6月1日-回家簽署文件,我有了我人生第一間房子. 雖然說是和爸爸聯名的,但卻很開心. 我終於有屬於自己的財產了

6月5日-我的生日. 轉眼就27了.時間好像過的很快. 27, 感覺還一事無成. 有些人在我這個年紀, 已經是百萬富翁; 有些已經生兒育女了,像壽勇;我卻連要求老闆加薪都求不到. 想到還真覺得有點悲哀. 我現在唯一的寄託就是明年要到英國/歐洲游歷兩年. God, bless me! let me learn and earn, more important show me the direction!!

better write in english. damn slow typing in chinese

June 7~13-my long working days started. i moved into the hostel and suddenly found that i was all alone. sleeping alone in hostel, working alone. i still prefer getting along with people. 人原來真的是群體動物

June 15~18- received mum's call on 15th morning. I was told that my aunty passed away at the early morning-heart attack. we believe that she was trying to get up from bed and dunno what reason suddenly got heart attack and fell on the floor, with the face facing floor and died just like that. she was all alone at that time.

Frankly speaking, my aunty did not like me as much as my brother-重男輕女. i still remember when i was young, she always treated my brother and i differently. Though my brother was the one who did wrong but i was the one who kena scolded. maybe because of the hard feeling, i dun really treat her so nice when i grow up

Australia was her first trip to oversea and her first time to take a plane-i dun expect is the last time too. I always know that she has illness but i never expect she will leave us so soon, without any symptons and notice. she was younger than my dad and only 1 old older than my mum. i am worry now. i cant imagine the day without my parents besides me.

she was always alone. she did not have many friends. at the wake, there were just family members and few friends. i feel sad for her. even till now, when i think of her, lying inside the coffin so lonely, i still cant believe that she actually left us. i think i do love her

姑, may god be with you always. rest in peace. i love you though i never manage to tell you.

titleless!!!

June is around the corner, which means that my continuous working days is going to start. from 7~23/6. help!!!i dun wan to work like that

just talked to my boss to check whether there will be increment for me since i got the cert. but sounds no hope. fed up and planning to change job. but dun feel like giving up my bonus at aug and the aws... i m still stuck here.

god, pls help!!!

Batam trip

i have been to Batam for twice before for business trip. but now purely for relaxation. me, yee, cc and kent wee, total four of us went for spa.

initially we did not plan to shop, but the things there are damn cheap(some). we cant control ourselves but keep on buying for wat we think is worth. at last, every of us at least spent S$30 to buy clothes.

our first stop was spa--Win's spa. not bad and the price is really really cheap. we spent ard 2.5 hrs and it only cost us S$50. i dun think u can get this price in singapore. n the service is damn good!!!

then we went for shopping which i have mentioned just now. we actually planned to have seafood dinner but it was not worth. the price were almost the same as in singapore. mayb they know the customers are all from singapore.

the hotel we stay in is very nice-pacific palace hotel. it was opened less than a yr and the facilities is very new. it is a four star hotel but only cost ard S$70 per night. very worth....we swam and went to their jaguzzi. they have 2 kinds: warm and cool. siok!!!

we feel like going back again. it is a good place for short trip.

Penang trip

Went to Penang on 9/5~12/5. Actually not much to do in Penang besides eating. I think i gained 1kg at least from the trip.

we departed from KL on 9/5 and reached ard 4pm. bro directly brought us for tea break. he planned to eat po piah but unfortunately the stall was closed. very unlucky(same as purposely went to Kampar to have beef noodle and the stall was closed too. damn bad luck tat day) but we did have a nice fry kuei tiao. yummy!!!

checked into Tanjong bunga beach hotel. but the facility and the environment not so good. cant complain much as it is only a 3 stars hotel.

we've been to bukit bendera. but not much to do up there. we q for 2 hrs n took 1 hr on the journey but end up only spent half an hour there. n it was very crowded. so next time dun go on weekend.

we also went to ji le shi. nothing much there. i did not take many photos as i really dunno what to take. the temple is still under renovation. funny. it was under renovation 2 yrs ago n now it is still on going. i wonder when will be the due date?!

we had a prosperous dinner on sat night with nancy's family, to celebrate the mothers' day. as normal, ate a lot....but the cheese cake she bought was not so nice even though a lot of ppl q up to buy. just becoz of home make???

the next day went to sleeping budha temple followed by batik factory, which i think is more meaningful. at night we had dinner at nancy's place and again this time is seafood feast. got crab,fish,prawn. ate till we cant even finish. how can i be not fat?

as conclusion, penang trip can be = eat trip. ate a lot of fry kuei tiao, asam laksa, zhu chang fen, po piah until i dun think i will eat in following 3 months.

anyway, it is good to have a family trip. i enjpyed a lot the journey as we can chit chat all the way from KL to Penang. really look forward for the next trip. where can we go???hmm....thinking of a short trip in singapore with my family come to attend my convo. cant wait.......13/7, here we go!!

Another rest day!!!

wooo....finally come to my rest day after a long exhausted 6 continuous working day!!! this is my first time. at the beginning i thought it will be tough, but time really flied. before i really realized it, it had came to the end of shift. but the most difficult and stressful part is at the end of it.

we have this production review meeting every morning. i have to prepare a whole day production report and update the following shift engineers status of machines in fab, including the highlights which should be taken extra attention.

this is when my boss is going to review in details. my boss use to be a easy and nice person. but dunno why he suddenly became so particular especially in past few days. he kept on popped up questions which i do not know how to answer. and yet it is really unimportant for production!!! i think he must had a flight with his wife at home.

anyway, one of my colleagues sent me a warming sms after my boss furiousness. saying that he must be still in condition of sleep, not really fully wake up yet. hahahaha

i cant imagine that i have been working for nearly 9 months here. i survive and start to find that the people here are starting making friend with me. this is hard for me. i dun wan to make friend as i plan to leave next year(this is still on). it will be hard to leave if i have connection with them. hai...better dun think so much first.

tmr i have a lot of plans. feel like going to swim, doing house chores, going to JB or staying at home to rest. better plan first. Happy Labour day!!!

My two important certs in life!!!

Finally after 2 yrs of "hard work", i get my degree of master.

last night i purposely went back to NUS to collect my scroll and try on the gown. i saw a lot of fresh grads feeling so excited trying on their gown. they even took picture with the gown. omg!!! suddenly it made me think back of the old time. aren't we feeling the same for the 1st important graduation in our life.

plenty of old memories flash back. we put on the gown and spent whole day in NTU to take photos, with whatever weird post we can think of; feeling nervous on the convo day and see how our folks are proud of us. wao...nearly forget we were the same

but this time is totally different: I AM ALL ALONE. no friends and hardly know my classmates. The time when i collected the scroll from officer, that's it. nothing. am i too numb??

i have a conclusion: joy is something u need someone to share with or it is nothing!

finally a rest day!!!

dun get me wrong. i actually have a lot of rest days since i've started working in night shift. however, a whole day just belongs to me without any gathering or date with friends or even need to get back to office is really rare. but this is the day!!!

what should i do??hmm just went to my friend's blog and he recommended a nice book: tuesday with morie. suddenly feel the urge to shop for books. mayb later can plan a small trip to kino. mayb can even have a great tea time with books. sounds good....

儿时的回忆

Today i went to ECP together with CC and yee. They woke up at 6 something (which is very great of yee as it is even earlier than her normal working hour) and i went directly without catching any sleep.(well i think i already get use to the night shift pattern). we reached there ard 8am and had our delicous breakfast at Mc.

We rented 2 bikes and yee went for the skating. well frankly speaking we did not really ride much as yee is not familiar with the roller skate. we kept her company and chit chatting.

It was quite a crowded day. a lot of families went out and you can see the children skating and cycling here and there. Sometimes i hate them as they normally ride without staying at their track. U have to keep avoiding them in case of crashing into them. so the cycling part for me is not that fun.

we sat for chit chat after yee got tire. we talked about a lot of things and suddenly a lot of my old memories flow back.

i remember the first time i rode my bike on my own, without dad supporting me at the back; the time that bro and i cycled in our primary school basketcourt. our primary school is just opposite our house. every time dad had to lead us pass the main road and reminded us not to ride on the bike until we get into the campus. Sweet memory and i've nearly forgotten.

we always keep looking forward and forget to stop. sometimes a little break is really help for us to take a breath and look around. thanks yee and CC because of ur company i realise that how lucky i am.

My convo in 2004

Four yrs of hard work just for the moment!!!


Bro and Nancy.

My family

Bro and I

Right after my convo

Photo from Perth

We were in Perth Mint. A gang of gold diggers

Dad and mum in the city of Perth

Fong's family and my brother's girl friend:Nancy

Eight of us from Malaysia in front of WAM

Mum, me and dad